JEFF BECKER – MENTAL PERFORMANCE COACH & LEAD DIRECTOR OF THE CHRIS PAUL CP3 RISING STARS ALL-AMERICAN CAMP – EPISODE 770

Website – https://www.coachjeffbecker.com/

Email – jeffreytbecker@gmail.com

Twitter – @coachjeffbecker

Jeff Becker is a certified Mental Performance & Life Coach and the founder of Jeff Becker Mental Performance Coaching, a company that provides peak mental performance coaching to elite athletes and coaches as well as corporate leaders and teams.

Jeff is also Founder and former Co-Owner& Director of Powerhouse Hoops.  He is the Lead Director of the Chris Paul CP3 Rising Stars All-American Camp as well as the Lead Coach at Camp Asia Elite Basketball Camp.

Becker was a 4 Year Letter Winner at Augustana College and is the author of the book, “Tender Lions: Building the Vital Relationship Between Father & Son”

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Take some notes as you listen to this episode with Mental Performance Coach Jeff Becker.

What We Discuss with Jeff Becker

• How mindset affects performance
• “If we can maximize the mindset, the skillset will take care of itself.”
• “I truly believe that that basketball is the best tool and the best gift that God has given us to be able to make us a better person, better husband, better spouse, better leader, better friend.”
• His coaching stops at Northern Illinois and at the high school level
• Founding Club Basketball Program Powerhouse Hoops
• “My two biggest passions are basketball and giving back to the underserved.”
• “Don’t be afraid to ask for help and dive in.”
• How his relationship with Sundance Wicks at Northern Illinois led him to club basketball in Arizona
• Differentiating yourself as a basketball business
• “Never underestimate your potential impact.”
• Getting emails and texts from former players
• “It’s so fun for me to have a network of coaches from around the country that are just great individuals that are here to serve.”
• His transition to mental performance coaching
• “Leadership is hard. Leadership is uncomfortable. Leadership is not about being your friend. Leadership’s job is to drive the culture and drive behavior.
• Building and earning trust as a leader
• Good friend or good teammate?
• “The standard you walk past is a new standard you set.”
• Your most impactful people are hard on you
• “If I can make their mind clear, I know they’re going to perform better. If they perform better, then I’ll probably get more playing time.”
• Impact and serve

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THANKS, JEFF BECKER

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TRANSCRIPT FOR JEFF BECKER – MENTAL PERFORMANCE COACH & LEAD DIRECTOR OF THE CHRIS PAUL CP3 RISING STARS ALL-AMERICAN CAMP – EPISODE 770

[00:00:00] Mike Klinzing: Hello and welcome to the Hoop Heads Podcast. It’s Mike Klinzing here without my co-host Jason Sunkle this afternoon. But I am pleased to be joined by Jeff Becker, mental performance coach. Jeff, welcome to the Hoop Heads Pod.

[00:00:10] Jeff Becker: Let’s rock and roll, Mike. I’m ready. I’m excited, man. Thanks for having me.

[00:00:13] Mike Klinzing: Absolutely thrilled to have you on.  Looking forward to diving into all the things that you’ve been able to do in your career. Let’s start by just giving people a quick overview of where you are right now, what you’re doing, so that people have some context as we get into the rest of our conversation.

[00:00:27] Jeff Becker: I am in sunny Scottsdale, Arizona. But what I do now is I’m a mental performance coach and specifically work with basketball players and teams where I work and focus on how mindset affects performance.

And I think the best way to kind of explain that is my mission statement is to increase performance by impacting the mindset, habits and routines because I truly feel that What I’ve learned through this space, and we’ll kind of dive deeper into how I got into this, but, if there’s only the physical skillset, and I’m sure you’re a lot like me, Mike, where we’ve coached hundreds if not thousands of players that are very skilled and talented. But they’re probably mentally not all there. They are mentally soft. They complain they can’t fight through adversity and so they’re never reaching their peak performance level, you know? And so it’s kind of like, how can I help maximize the mindset?

Cause if we can maximize the mindset, the skillset will take care of itself.

[00:01:24] Mike Klinzing: I think that there’s no question as we look at sort of where. The game of basketball has evolved, but where just performance has evolved. There was so much of it, I think for a long time where it was just people were looking at those physical school skills and the physical tools that someone had, and so often we neglected the mental side of it, and it’s great to see that we have now.

In the world today, we’ve sort of accepted the fact that if you’re going to be at your best, not only does your body have to be right, but your mind has to be right. And so we’re going to dive into some of the ways that you help athletes and business people do that in terms of their day-to-day performance.

But let’s start by going back in time to give people a little bit of your background. Tell us about how you got into the game of basketball when you were a kid.

[00:02:07] Jeff Becker: Man grew up on the west side of Chicago, grew up in Maywood, Illinois. Where I really do think in my second life, I probably should be like a volleyball player or a swimmer, but all we did was hoop back in the day.

Maywood has rich history of basketball players from open gyms, Shannon Brown and Evan Turner and you know, Jacob Poland, all time leading scorer at Kansas State and we had all these just studs. And so basketball was just all I knew. And my mom was actually is a Illinois State Hall of Fame for basketball, softball, volleyball.

So but from there I went and played at division three, Augustana College in Rock Island, Illinois. Loved it, loved everything about we were successful. Won three straight conference championships and then from there went and was a video coordinator in Northern Illinois and got to see the division one limelight.

That took me then into coaching in the western suburbs of Chicago for two years. Warrenville South High School. And then over the last 10 years I’ve been out here in Scottsdale, Phoenix area where I moved out here when I was 24, 25 to just start club basketball and training.

That grew into from six teams to 36 teams. Powerhouse Hoops was the name of our program. We built a facility out here. I’ve been around basketball for 15, 20 years from the coaching side and it’s been around my life forever and I’m super blessed, but I’m also super, super passionate about how to utilize basketball as a tool for life.

And I’ve seen it so much, and I’m sure you have as well, Mike is just. So many don’t utilize it the right way. And so I truly believe that that basketball is the best tool and the best gift that God has given us to be able to make us a better person, better husband, better spouse, better leader, better friend.

But we have to use it the right way.

[00:04:00] Mike Klinzing: That’s well said. And I think it’s something that when you look at the direction that coaching has gone, it’s certainly started to trend in that direction, which I believe is something that is great for the game and also all the people that participate in it, from players to coaches.

And I just think it makes such a huge difference when you can use the game to not just improve somebody’s basketball skill set, but you can also use the basketball to improve their life, which is exactly what you’re talking about. When you went to Augustana, were you thinking coaching as far as. What you want to do as a career or was that something that as you’re going through your four years and you’re seeing your playing career start to come to an end that, hey, maybe I want to stay involved in the game and getting coaching, or just, what was your mindset when you went to school about what you thought you wanted to do when you were an adult?

[00:04:42] Jeff Becker: First of all, I’m probably like a lot of 18 to 20 year olds. We had, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I was just trying to play basketball. But no, I didn’t, honestly, my master’s in criminal justice, and again, kind of growing up on the west side of Chicago I saw a lot.

I experienced a lot and, and so I always thought I wanted to give back to the inner city, and that’s something that I’m extremely passionate about. I’ve always said this, my two biggest passions are basketball and giving back to the underserved and so I thought I was going to get into before I really dove deep into this, I was a probation officer.

I worked in juvenile prisons. But for me the opportunities that arose, whether that was Northern Illinois as a young, I don’t know, 22, 23 year old video coordinator or moving out here and just kind of having the opportunity to start a club and training program. I always wanted to kind of just live the just don’t play the what if game 5, 10, 20 years from now.

And I was like, well, hey, I have a master’s to fall back on if this team doesn’t work. And, and quite honestly, I’m so blessed, man, and I’m so fortunate to be able to still have basketball in my life. But I no chance at 18 to 20 years old would I’ve ever thought that this was possible.

[00:05:55] Mike Klinzing: All right.  So that first experience at Northern Illinois, tell me a little bit about what that was like and sort of how that maybe influenced where you were going to go from there.

[00:06:03] Jeff Becker: Hmm. Great question. You know, I learned so much because I came from such. Cultured history and successful program at Augustana College where we were roughly 23, 24 and six every year, going to the Sweet 16 year or two and seeing what high division three basketball is like. And let’s be honest I go to Northern Illinois, which is a mid to low major. We were, we went from the year before I came, we were 10 and 20. And the year after when we got fired, we were nine and 21.

You know, and for me, I got to see so much of the goods and bad and the but learning from not only the head coach, but just building the relationship with, three of the assistant coaches that I still am so close to today of what it takes. You know, cause as a player you don’t see any of that behind the scenes stuff.

And I thought I knew a lot because we were successful at Augustana. And then I go to Northern Illinois and I’m like, I know nothing . I know one system and one system, one sets a baseline out of bounds and one way how to break a two, three zone and one press breaker. And I was like, man, I am way beyond my ears.

But for me, one of the best learned experiences that my assistant coaches always told me was just like, Hey, you have to write your own manual. One, write your own manual, and two, be a sponge every single day. And I think that’s what I did best was just ask a lot of questions.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help and dive in, fail forward.

[00:07:32] Mike Klinzing: So, as you go through that experience and you see kind of, again, you have the curtain sort of pulled back, as you said. I think that’s one of the most interesting things when you talk to guys that previously played and then they go into coaching, especially if it’s something that.

They haven’t thought about necessarily. I think there’s some guys that from the time they’re like eight, they’re like, I know I want to be a coach. And then there’s other coaches that their playing career ends, and all of a sudden they’re like, Hey, I want to get into coaching.

And when that curtain gets pulled back, as you said, there’s a lot of things that you realize, hey, I don’t know nearly as much as I thought. I know. And you made a great points. One that I’ve made on the podcast a lot is when I started. Similar to you. I knew what my high school coach did, and I knew what my college coach did, and pretty much from a coaching standpoint, that’s all I knew.

And so I kind of was maybe more arrogant than most people. And the fact that when I got my first coaching job, I just looked around and said, well, I was a really good player and I’m going to be a really good coach. And you realized very, very quickly that. You don’t know very much, and I know way less right now at age 53 than I knew when I was 22 or 23 when I got my first coaching job.

And it’s just interesting how when that curtain gets peeled back, what you see. So that experience for you at Northern Illinois. How did it impact your decision moving forward in terms of were you like, Ooh, I’d really like to stay in college coaching. Did you see the lifestyle that guys were living and be like, Hmm it’s a lot of time, it’s taken up.

Maybe there’s a different path. Just when you finished there, what was the mindset as you look for your next opportunity?

[00:09:03] Jeff Becker: Yeah, that’s a good question. I still vividly remember the day we were fired.  I’m 22 and I remember sitting in our head coach’s office with the rest of our staff.

This is the day after we lost in the Mac conference tournament, and I just remember being like, well, I’m fine. I’m 22. I’m just getting my head in the game, but I’m literally looking around the room and one person just got married. One was expecting their second kid, one person is on his fourth team in six years he’s crowded all around the country to find the next job.

And I was like, is this really for me? And there’s zero disrespect to division one coaches. It is a grind. But it wasn’t. Some of my best friends and some of my greatest relationships are division one coaches still to this day.

But for me, I was just like, is this really what it was? You know? And so that’s when how I actually ended up working at the juvenile prison, go back to working my master’s and my master’s degree working at the juvenile prison and, and just coaching at the local high school. But to me it was just like, everyone has their own journey. Everyone has their own path. And for me that was kind of the first time where I was like, I need to do what’s right for me. Not what sounds cool and sounds like a cool title, but for me it wasn’t. It wasn’t the right path and I don’t see myself ever wanting to go back to the division one path.

[00:10:23] Mike Klinzing: How did that opportunity, working with the high schools there in Arizona, how did that lead to forming the club team and kind of getting into what you guys did next from a business perspective.

[00:10:33] Jeff Becker: Yeah, good question. So actually when we got fired at Northern Illinois, the associate head coach, Sundance Wick, who’s now at university of Wyoming Sundance, came out here and started in Phoenix, I’m sorry.

He came out here to Phoenix and started training. And then Sundance was like, Hey, this was about a year and a half later after training, and I’m still at the prison working at the high school. He said, Hey, we’re going to start club basketball. We’re going to start with six teams. But I need kind of like a number two guy.

I just need you to come out. And honestly, I was like, Hey, okay, cool. I’m I’m 23, 24. I packed up my car. I told my parents, Hey mom, I’ll be back in Chicago in eight months, or I’ll be back in August, I’ll be back. And after the club season, I literally slept on Sundance’s couch for six to eight months.

But I found a passion and Sundance. If you guys don’t know who Sundance Wick is, he is one of the most contagious, if not the most contagious individual I’ve ever been around. You know, and he just taught me how contagious and how impactful you truly can be on a player’s life.

And I fell in love I fell in love with the training, the impact, on the individual, and I didn’t want to go back. And so I was kind of on this mission to start with the club. We started with six teams. I was on this mission to just be like, I want to make some money doing this.

And, and I don’t, let me rephrase it. I don’t want to make money. I want to make this my lifestyle. I want to make this who I am because I just fell in love with the training, the coaching, the mentorship. Being able to impact a kid’s life, because I do think from that 14 to 18 year old range, they are extremely impactful, and let’s be honest, they don’t really listen to parents at that age, but they’ll definitely listen to their trainer, their coach. So that’s kind of how it all started 10 years ago.

[00:12:21] Mike Klinzing: What were the challenges in building that business? And obviously there’s a lot of people, no matter where you go in the country, there’s a lot of people in this space and more now probably than there were 10 years ago.

But nonetheless, there’s a lot of competition out there. So what did you guys do to build that business and sort of differentiate yourself from the other clubs that we’re trying to do similar things to what you guys were doing?

[00:12:43] Jeff Becker: Great question. I’ve always tried to hold myself to a higher standard and whether that’s in club or whether that’s in whatever and I say this to a lot of people now, as people will ask well, what do I do next?

And how do I do that? I’m just, how are you different?  There’s a new club, there’s a new trainer on every corner, new mom and pop shop. But what is that for you? I think one of the biggest things is how I showed up every day. The passion, the energy, the positivity, but also the knowledge base and you also have to understand your, your target audience.

A lot of people think you’re selling to the kid, but actually you have to probably sell to the parent. Cause the parent is probably the one that’s writing the check. And I don’t mean that in a sleazy or mean way, but I also mean that in you have to impact the heart of the player, but you also have to impact and understand that the parent is investing in their most precious possession, which is their child.

And so if you can understand that you’re going to change and impact and redirect a child’s life, that also is going to help the parent. And you don’t want to reinvest in you as well. So you have to look, it’s hard because most basketball players just want to have a basketball mind, but you also have to have somewhat of a business mind as well, which is again, this is never ending journey for me, but you know, I’m still learning 10 years later, but it was something new I had to look at from a new lens, I think 10 years ago.

[00:14:14] Mike Klinzing: What part did you like about the business side of it? It’s, I think that’s always an interesting question cause there’s some parts of it that you’re like, eh, I could leave that. Take it or leave it. But then there’s other parts where maybe you get excited about web design or just the marketing piece of it.

Was there any part of the business side of it that you really took to.

[00:14:29] Jeff Becker: Quite honestly, no, right? There you go. Honestly, I think it’s the testimonials cause none of us really ever express how we truly feel about those that impacted us.  And, and I think that I try to carry myself, conduct myself in a humble, grateful way.

But when you ask for those testimonials, you hear that, or quite honestly, father’s Day, you know I still to this day probably get texts from a handful of those players that never had a father figure in their life. And they reach out and say thank you and those texts give me chills, goosebumps, and bring tears to my eyes to be.

[00:15:08] Mike Klinzing: Yeah. It’s powerful stuff based on, especially what you said in terms of sort of what your life’s mission is to be able to impact kids, and especially kids who are underserved, when you’re able to provide that type of mentorship and leadership and give kids who maybe previously wouldn’t have had an opportunity or wouldn’t have had somebody to guide them kind of down their own path to be able to step in and then have them reach out to you years later and express their appreciation.

I’m sure that that, again, any. That’s tremendously meaningful when you hear from former players that played for you and it’s five or 10 years down the road and they reach back out to you and say, what an impact the things that you did had on them and had on their life. And I think that that’s one of the main reasons why, if we’re honest, I think everybody who coaches, if you’re doing it right, I think that’s something that, that everybody drops and, and everybody feels like is a huge piece of why they coach and, and feels that gratitude when, when somebody reaches back out to them. So if you’re a former player and you have a former coach out there, reach out, give them a call, send them an email, send them a text. Because I know former coaches appreciate hearing from their players there.

There’s nothing better.

[00:16:11] Jeff Becker: Yeah. There’s a great quote actually. I can’t remember who told me this, but never underestimate your potential impact. I’m sure you’re same way, I’m sure I haven’t reached out to those that I can probably truly thank. And you never know if it’ll be 10 months, 10 years or, or 30 years down the road when you might potentially get that email or text or phone call.  If I think back on my most impactful individuals or impactful moments I probably said thanks to maybe one of those individuals, which I probably should do a better job of now thinking about it. But for all of us, we could all do a better job, but never, never underestimate your potential impact.

[00:16:48] Mike Klinzing: Yeah, and I think the other thing that, this is something that has come up on the podcast a couple times is just a lot of times as coaches, we think about some of the things that we say, and hopefully most of the time it’s positive, but occasionally it’s negative. And I’m sure you have things that you remember that.

Somebody who was coaching you or somebody that was teaching you something that they said that you remember, that you could probably go back to them and say, Hey, do you remember when you said X, Y, or Z to me? And that person would look at you like they were crazy. Like you were crazy and had no idea what.

It was that they said, and yet those are things that we hold with us. And so I think that’s something important to remember as a coach that the words that you use today can have an impact, hopefully positive, but occasionally negative. But it’s just important to remember that those things that you may not even remember yourself are things that your players or your students or your clients carry with them for the rest of their lives.

And so I think as coaches, it’s really important to be cognizant of the fact that our words have a lasting impact. Kind of what you’re saying, right? You’d never underestimate the impact that Yeah,

[00:17:50] Jeff Becker: We’re spot on with that.

[00:17:52] Mike Klinzing: Alright. How’d you get connected with Chris Paul?

[00:17:53] Jeff Becker: Same thing. We were at the club basketball program.

I got super lucky. They were starting something called the  CP3 National Rising Stars Camp, which was the best incoming freshman and we were lucky. We had some talent in our upcoming teams where we had Marcus Howard, who obviously is phenomenal player, all time leading scorer at Marquette and was playing overseas, been an nba you know, so we had Marcus coming through the pipeline and so they invited Marcus. And I think selfish today. We also had a seventh grader who at the time was the number one seventh grader in the country, which I had like, I don’t even know rank started that , but at the time there was this kid, we were doing three men.

We even had a seventh grader join our 16U practice and I’m like, guys, we already have 10 guys on the team. Why is this guy showing up? Who is this kid? They’re like, he’s the number one seventh grade. I’m like, I don’t care about rankings this, that. They go, oh, no, no, it’s Marvin Bagley Jr. And I. Oh, all right.

He’s pretty good. So anyway, so CP3, the camp’s, trying to saw Marcus invited Marcus. Be like, Hey we just have a volunteer coaching position. Would you like to come join us?  And so yeah, I was just like, sure, why not? And honestly, quite honestly, I was expecting the worst. I was expecting egos, entitlement, arrogance as we all see.

And selfishness from exposure camps from EYBL, Nike high profile programs, whatever. All the stigmas and stereotypes of the high profile programs, and I saw the exact opposite. I saw someone that aligned with our vision, my mission, my vision, my standards of just appreciation, high accountability, high standards, high energy.

And so I started volunteering for this camp for the first 3-4 years on my own dime, on my own expense traveling around the country. I found so much passion in building a fraternity of brothers of coaches that were doing it the right way for the right reasons.

And then for some, some reason they were like, Hey, we need a new lead skills coach. We need a new guy to kind of run the camp. And here we are 10 years into it almost. And they’ve presented me with kind of being one of the lead directors. I’ve been able to we roughly get about six or seven camps each year. Roughly you touch 2000 plus players a year. I get to put together the coaching staff and be able to be around 200 plus coaches a year that are just doing things for the right ways. And just for all of us, it’s like coaches is, we want to build that fraternity of brothers and sisters that are high impactful people. And for me it’s so fun for me to have a network of coaches from around the country that are just great individuals that are here to serve.

[00:20:49] Mike Klinzing: Great lesson there for coaches in terms of, you took advantage of an opportunity by going and working hard and doing that.

as you said, on your own dime and volunteering and and doing the work. And then eventually that turned into an opportunity that I’m sure you didn’t see coming that first year when you went, had no idea that it was going to turn into what it’s turned into. And now you start thinking about what you’re doing here on the mental performance side.

When did that get on your radar as something that you became interested in? And then how do you go about taking that interest in that side? The business or that side of the athlete and turn that into something that you can do to help you to make a living?

[00:21:33] Jeff Becker: Great question. Yeah, I honestly thought I was always going to be a trainer and a club coach.

We were running a successful program and quite honestly, I just felt like my values were, my perspective was shifting. I was about to get married and did I really want to work the evening hours and the long weekends and travel all over the place, this and that. And things weren’t aligned with kind of our new training facility and everything.

And so I didn’t really know what I was going to do. Quite honestly. I stepped away from our club unexpectedly and probably surprised everyone but my now wife Actually a mentor who, let’s go back, 7, 8, 10 years, one of the northern Illinois assistants Todd Townsend hit me up and said, have you ever thought of mental performance coaching?

I was like, I have no idea what that even means. He goes I’ve been around a lot of high level programs, this and that. He goes, and we bring in a lot of these speakers, a lot of consultants, a lot of mental performance coaches. He goes, and every time I hear these guys talk, I think of you.

And I’m like, I don’t even know what it is, he goes, well, every, a lot of programs at a sports psychologist now at a division one level, but a lot of sports psych. Can’t relate to the player. They don’t they don’t either take the time to know them, or a lot of there’s a lot of stigmas and stereotypes, especially for us as men.

I don’t want to go talk to a psychologist. But they’ll talk to probably you because you relate to them. So I was just like, all right, cool. And so I started looking into it and I’ve always been kind of a self-improvement, self-help book guru, whether I podcast and read books and all this stuff from my own self.

And so I started diving in and I’ve been, and I’m not going to lie, I’ve been super blessed, obviously because of the past with my club. I had families that trusted me. I had players that already viewed me kind of as a coach and as a mentor in guidance for guidance. And so when I kind of transitioned into the mental performance world I already kind of had a just kind of some stored knowledge.

One for my own development, but also a kind of a network. A network of players and an of advocacy coaches and college coaches and athletic directors that already trusted in me for my values and what I’ve already lived for. And so that kind of really helped propel me into what I’m doing now.

And obviously there’s. Man, there’s been a lot of stuff going on over the last four years. You know, COVID has obviously helped me probably, but, but there’s a lot of battles that, obviously from the business perspective that I’ve taken and learned through. But yeah, man, I’m super blessed and I think this is really my calling.

And like I said, I still get to wear shorts and a t-shirt every day.

[00:24:11] Mike Klinzing: I can relate to that. No question about it. I taught in the elementary school, I taught in a classroom for, I don’t. 17, 18, 19 years and then I’ve been in the gym for the last 10 and being able to put on shorts and a t-shirt, there is nothing that beats that as a set that up as your life goal, maybe when you’re eight.

And to be able to achieve it is, is pretty, is pretty good. As you got started and you made the transition, what’s it like trying to get your first client and sort of explaining to people who previously knew you in one role? As you move into this new role, what were those first initial conversations?

Outreaches, marketing, however you want to put it. How did you let people know what you were doing and then how’d you get your first clients in the door?

[00:24:53] Jeff Becker: I’m sure it was an absolute rollercoaster and I don’t know how I did it. Quite honestly, I just had to get over myself. I just kind of had to get the ego, the big ego was so big of like, well, what are they going to think of me and this and that?

I just had to ask, you just have to keep asking. Of course you’re going to hear no a thousand times because everyone thinks you’re just a basketball trainer. But you then you start seeing that there’s individuals that see that side of the growth mindset that see that, or that those coaches or athletic directors that see that side of leadership, of culture building, of earning and building trust of confidence and building chemistry.

And I were like, yeah, sure. Come talk to my team for free. And I did, I talked to so many teams for free. During Covid, I probably could do, I probably did hundreds of free Zoom calls for coaches and programs in athletic departments just to get my, just to get me some reps, but also for more and more people to, to get me understand what I do, understand my name, my brand, my energy.

And quite honestly, I thought I was going to be this guy, travel around the country working in locker rooms, talking about culture, and then Covid hit and I started doing free Zoom calls and after one Zoom call. After a few, actually after a few Zoom calls. At the end, obviously I’m like, I didn’t have any questions.

And this one mom unmuted herself and just like you do one-on-one calls and my mind, I’m like, well, we do now. And so that’s calls. So realistically, I had no idea. Again that word pivot man. Like I just started pivoting and pivoting and pivoting and here I am now to this day and super blessed and continuing trying to grow.

[00:26:31] Mike Klinzing: All right. Let’s talk about both of those two sort of different segments. When you think about working with a team and, and building the culture and then you think about working with individuals, there’s obviously, every team is different, every individual is different in terms of what their needs are, but when you look at those two areas, is there things that are universal about what you talk with teams about, or what you talk with individuals, in other words, are.

Major themes or points that you like to make with teams and with individuals before you break down into their specific things that they may be dealing with or the things that they might, may want to improve upon? I don’t know if that question makes sense, but are there universal themes, I guess is what I’m asking?

[00:27:12] Jeff Becker: I don’t think there’s anything universal, but I definitely think there’s a lot of reoccurring very high common themes. If I think of working with teams. Leaders, not coaches, but leaders, understanding their impact. And whether you’re a captain or whether you’re a upperclassman, and understanding your behaviors, your attitude, how contagious you are compared to what a coach says.

I think there’s really understanding how to build and earn trust. You know, trust, trust isn’t built and earned through your title or position and I think that’s what so many coaches are upperclassmen think, or how you’re the leading scorer. That means absolutely nothing about building and earning trust.

You know, building and earning trust is a shared experience through behaviors, through attitude, through how do they view and experience you. I talk a lot about earning and building trust, which obviously then creates culture and I think a lot of misconceptions is that, that people are like, we don’t have a culture.

Well, actually you do. It’s just do you actually do you build it? You know, or do you just allow it to happen? And so there really educating everybody about what culture is and what trust is. You know, from an individual one-on-one call sessions or a small group sessions, especially, I think during this time of age, is eliminating distractions.

I think so many of us we’re in a world of more distractions than ever before, so we really focus a lot on the word focus, on awareness, on your perspectives, on your priorities. But then obviously when we work with male versus female, I think when I first started work with females, it’s a lot about self, about self-image self-talk building and understanding what confidence truly is.

You know, on guys, it’s kind of dropping the ego. And understanding that you’re not as important as you think you are, but I think all of us, including myself, is that you know, that fear of other people’s opinions and in a world of today, of society where everyone is judged and compared of social media you know, kind of getting over yourself and understanding that comparison trap is, is very powerful, especially for teenagers.  It can be a dangerous place nowadays.

[00:29:26] Mike Klinzing: Yeah, absolutely. When you’re talking about building that trust and you’re talking about developing leaders on your team, I think it’s interesting that you headed it in the direction of developing players as leaders. Cause we always hear talk coaches talk about, right, a player led team as a team that is going to be more successful than if all the leadership has to come from the coach.

Things get challenging, and yet when you’re talking about being a leader as a player, , especially if you get to the high school level where kids are a little bit less mature and there’s a little bit more of, again, team dynamics and things that go on. Let’s say you have a player who is trying to lead their team and for whatever reason they have to confront right, and hold their teammates accountable, but maybe the culture hasn’t been set, that that’s the way that things are done.

How would you approach that particular scenario in terms of helping. A player navigate that or helping a coach to navigate and develop that type of player led leadership? What does that conversation look like?

[00:30:29] Jeff Becker: This is what I typically say, and actually I learned this from my therapist. I love my therapist cause she breaks it down into sports analogies for me.

But she goes, pretend that there’s a, a tennis court and Jeff, you’re on one side of tennis court and you hit the ball over the neck. That’s your job. Okay. Do you, are you in control of how your opponent responds, how your opponent hits the ball back? I’m like, well, obviously not. She goes, then why are you concerned about how they, how they receive it?

Because your job, Jeff, is to say what you need to say your job as a leader. Of course, I need the I need to lead by example. I need to put in the work and the extra work, and I need to build all the foundational stuff as a leader prior. But if I’m trying to hold Mike accountable, My job is to hit the ball over the net and, and how Mike receives it and how Mike responds.  That’s on Mike, but there’s so many times us as leaders, we’re so concerned. We’re so concerned about, oh, well I have to be nice to Mike and I might hurt his feelings, or he might perceive me wrong, this or that. Well, God, guess what? Leadership is hard. Leadership is uncomfortable. Leadership is not about being your friend.

Leadership’s job is to drive the culture and drive behavior. And so guess what? And let me ask you this, Mike. Mike, if you feel a certain way about that, if I trigger you, is that my work that I need to do? Or is that your work that you need to do? Yeah, it’s my work, clearly. Hundred percent. And so there’s so many times I think it’s in the book.

I just lost it. Good friend or good teammate.  We’re trying to be such good friends nowadays of, of Hey, make sure you like my profile. Make sure you like this post. Make sure you comment on this. That’s not what leadership is. Leadership’s job is to drive the right culture, to drive the right behaviors.

[00:32:14] Mike Klinzing: That’s really well said. And I think it’s something that a lot of times we don’t take into account when you start saying, Hey, I’ve have to do this, and it’s up to my teammates or the other people that are a part of whatever it is that I’m doing to react in a positive way. And I think, as you said, if got, if people can self-reflect, if teammates can self-reflect and start to look at and say, oh, I see this person over here doing this.

Maybe I need to do that and self-evaluate. And obviously the more people you get to be involved in that cycle, then the more often you’re going to get to the type of culture that you want to build. But I do think you’re right that so often I think we analyze, okay, here’s what we did. Now is it having the impact that we wanted to have?

And clearly that’s important, but I think what you’re saying is that you can’t control how other people are going to react to what you’re doing. You have to continue to do the things you believe are right that you believe are going to lead your team and your culture in the right direction. I think that applies obviously to coaches and players equally, I would say.

[00:33:12] Jeff Becker: Correct.  Hundred percent, me and my wife’s relationship, right? There’s a culture in everything that we do. If there’s two people that unit, that is a culture. But so many of us just allow the culture to happen. And if there’s no standards, if there’s no values, if there’s no accountability, then we’re just allowing something to fester.

and if for any of us as a leader, as a coach, as whatever that is, it’s like you have to have a higher set of standards. And so, but, but so many of us are just saying, well, I’ll just let it pass this time. There’s a great quote, the standard you walk past is a new standard you set.

So many of us, we just allow the standard to slip, the slip, the slip, the slip. But the standard you walk past is a new standard you set. We have to sustain the standard, and that’s by not just allowing something to happen, you have to sustain it, which means you have to have hard conversations.

[00:34:05] Mike Klinzing: Having those hard conversations I think is something that some people do pretty well naturally.

I think a lot of people struggle with that, especially when they’re younger. When you talk about coaches who are 22, 23, 24, and they’re just kind of starting out, I think there is that desire, as you said, to maybe not offend anybody to want to be. With players and having those difficult conversations is really where, that’s where the growth is.

The growth comes from those hard conversations. It doesn’t come from, okay, this guy did this, I’m going to let it, I’m going to let it go because he’s our best player. I’m going to let it go because he’s having a tough day. And as you said, if you let those things go once it becomes a lot easier to let him go twice.

And before you know it, it’s your new standard and then you don’t have anything. Well yeah, like you said, you have a culture but not one that you were intentional about building. You have one that just kind of happened because you let things go.

[00:34:55] Jeff Becker: Hundred percent. I think all of us, if we think back to our most impactful coaches, most impactful mentors, most impactful people that you’ve ever been around.

Now that I’m 35, I look back, they were hard on me. They held me to a standard, like one was a hundred percent, one was my college coach. You know, but like I think back to my 14 year old youth group leader was the first person that really held me accountable. But, why do I remember that 20 plus years later is because he helped me do a standard was they’re just like, nah, Jeff, you’re cool.

You’re good. No, you know? And so if you, almost all of us, I can guarantee we think back to people that held us to a standard, not just allowing something to happen.

[00:35:34] Mike Klinzing: And I think what’s interesting there is that as a kid, you can’t maybe articulate why that was important to you. I think as an adult we have a better understanding.

When somebody holds me to a standard, it allows me to raise my performance or raise what I do up to that level. But as a kid, I don’t think we necessarily always understand what those people who are being hard on us are doing for us and why they’re doing it for us. And yet, ultimately as an adult, when you look back and you say, Hey, I want to, as you mentioned earlier, like being somebody who reads, the self-improvement books and somebody who’s always trying to grow and has that growth mindset. I think as an adult we can maybe articulate it better, but I think kids need it in just the same way. They just maybe don’t or can’t verbalize it in the same way that we can as adults. Kind of looking back on our experiences.

[00:36:23] Jeff Becker: Obviously their brains aren’t fully developed. And heck, I think honestly, this is why I got into this field so much is because I think I needed this so bad when I was a 14 to 21 year old knucklehead. There was so much stuff that I went through adversity wise and family wise and stuff like that, that I think I needed a safe spot an unbiased opinion. I wasn’t affecting someone that wasn’t affecting my playing time because there’s so many times where you potentially want to go to the coach, Hey, I’m struggling with this, but then you’re like, man, coach affects playing time, or is he going to view me or perceive me differently?

So I’m so blessed man that, that I’m able to be a sounding board for athletes and for players but also be able to help improve performance. Right? Because if I can make their mind clear, I know they’re going to perform better. If they perform better, then I’ll probably get more playing time.

[00:37:16] Mike Klinzing: Absolutely. There’s no question about that. All right. Final two part question, part one, when you look ahead over the next year or so, what do you see as being your biggest challenge? And then part two, when you think about what you get to do every day, what brings you the most joy about what you’re doing right now?

So your biggest challenge and your biggest joy.

[00:37:33] Jeff Becker: Biggest challenge. I have an 11 month old son. But, quite honestly, man, is I’ll say this for all coaches, is the balance. I give this analogy a lot is I want you to think of an up upside down Frisbee and you have tennis balls on this Frisbee Mike.

And one tennis ball represents what’s important. Your financials, your family, your nutrition, your exercise, your job, and what you do. And if one gets too heavy and it gets over overloaded, the Frisbee will drop. But it’s okay because it’s nutrition. It’ll bounce back up.

Your exercise will bounce back up. But there’s one crystal ball on this Frisbee, and that’s your family. And if you stop worrying about your family and that ball falls, it doesn’t bounce up, it shatters. And I think one of the biggest things for me right now is balance.

And I think that’s almost every coach I’ve ever talked to is, do you let that crystal ball stand that Frisbee or is it shattered already? That’s number one most important thing or most exciting thing for me, man, I hope you can just feel it. I hope you can feel my passion, my energy, my excitement, just to be able to impact and serve man.

And those are two words I live by every single day. Impact and Serve.

[00:38:40] Mike Klinzing: Well said, impact and serve is a great way to approach anybody who’s working with people. I think if you can do those two things, then you’re doing something right. Before we get out, Jeff, I want to give you a chance to share how people can reach out to you, how they can get in touch with you, share website, social media, email, whatever you feel comfortable with.

And then after you do that, I’ll jump back in and wrap things up.

[00:38:59] Jeff Becker: Love it man. Thank you so much. No I guys, you can find me at all social media is @CoachJeff Becker. It’s coachjeffbecker.com. I think you emailed me, Jeff, coach Jeff, coach Jeff Becker. So @CoachJeffBecker’s, pretty much everything.

And then I also have a weekly podcast to put out, called the Champions Life, I talk about mindset, culture, all that stuff.

[00:39:19] Mike Klinzing: Jeff, I cannot thank you enough for taking the time out of your schedule to join us today. Really appreciate it, and to everyone out there, thanks for listening and we will catch you on our next episode.

Thanks.